For all of those out in the fruited plain who were otherwise occupied while the current President of the United States was holding a press conference on a Friday afternoon in August (who does this? No one is paying attention. Half the country is either on vacation or making their Friday afternoon tee time. Of course, that might be the point), here it is:
I guess he memorized it all since there would be no teleprompter. Wow, that took…months. Still screws up his cadence, but there you go.
Have at it.