Category Archives: Humor

- by John Semmens – Congresswoman Clarifies Who Is Entitled to Impose Values on Others The recent flap over the Obama Administration’s edict that all employers must provide birth control, including abortifacients, as part of heath insurance benefits for employees has given us a “teaching moment,” says representative Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla). “We have established the [...]

by John Semmens White House Dictates Compromise on Contraception Mandate In an effort to quell rising opposition to its mandate for all employers to provide contraceptive coverage in healthcare benefits to workers, the White House issued a directive that it maintains “ends the discussion.” Under the directive insurers would be required to provide this coverage [...]

- by John Semmens – President Claims “Jesus Would Vote for Me” In a bid to capture the evangelical vote, President Obama boldly asserted that his programs are based on the teachings of Jesus and that “if he were alive, Jesus would vote for me.” Obama’s remarks were made this past week at the National [...]

- by John Semmens – President Irked at Governor’s Show of Disrespect President Obama expressed his “profound disappointment and disgust” with what he labeled “an unacceptable display of disrespect” toward him from Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (R). “Ms. Brewer has to come to terms with her rank in the pecking order,” Obama said. “She is, [...]

- by John Semmens – Georgia Judge Refuses to Accept Obama’s “Sovereign Immunity” Georgia Judge Michael Malihi’s refusal to accept President Obama’s lawyers’ demand that he be excused from responding to a subpoena to testify in a hearing questioning his eligibility to appear on that state’s presidential ballot was denounced by Edward Toady, lead attorney [...]

by John Semmens Holder Says Obama’s Recess Appointments Legal President Obama’s refusal to acknowledge the Senate’s pro forma sessions as an impediment to his authority to make recess appointments was upheld by his Department of Justice last week. “This country needs to be governed 24/7,” said Attorney General Eric Holder. “Things can’t be brought to [...]

- by John Semmens- President Declares Independence from Congress Frustrated by his inability to get portions of his agenda passed by Congress, President Barack Obama has forged ahead making appointments and enacting programs without the Constitutionally required consent of the legislature. The appointment of Richard Cordray to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau attracted the [...]

- by John Semmens – Feds Sanction Arizona Sheriff Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio was sternly rebuked by the US Justice Department for allowing ethnic bias to influence his efforts to crack down on illegal immigrants from Mexico. “Instead of using our preferred methods for randomizing the enforcement presence, Arpaio has consistently focused his attention [...]

- by John Semmens – White House Threatens to Cancel Congressional Holidays Bristling over what he labeled “unwarranted attempts to undo my accomplishments,” President Obama threatened to cancel this year’s Christmas and New Years’ holiday if GOP members of Congress do not accede to his demand for a “clean” omnibus $900 billion spending bill. The [...]

- by John Semmens – Sluggish Economy Blamed on Lazy Americans In his continuing quest to find the “real killers” of America’s prosperity, President Obama is now testing out the idea that laziness lies at the root of the prolonged recession we’re in. “Look, we in government have been going all out trying to get [...]

- by John Semmens – Allred Says Cain Hiring a Lawyer Proves He’s Guilty Gloria Allred, the lawyer retained by Cain accuser Sharon Bialek, slammed presidential candidate Herman Cain for retaining attorney Lin Wood to help him defend against the sexual harassment accusations that have been launched against him. Wood is considered a top notch [...]

- by John Semmens – House Leader Opposes Voter ID Laws in All 50 States House Minority Whip Representative Steny Hoyer (D-Md) sent letters to the secretaries of state in all 50 states asking them to take action against “any and all attempts to limit the right to vote by requiring those wishing to cast [...]

- by John Semmens – Dems Dismayed by Poll Results A Gallup poll showing 64% of American voters blaming the federal government for the poor state of the economy vs. only 30% blaming Wall Street has leading Democrats in a tizzy. Possibly even more shocking was the finding that more Democrats blame Washington than Wall [...]

- by John Semmens – President Proud of Mistake-Free First Three Years President Obama says he’s feeling pretty upbeat about his reelection chances despite the worst economy since the 1930s and polls showing that two-thirds of Americans disapprove of how he’s handled his job. “On the surface things look bad,” Obama admitted. “But if voters [...]

- by John Semmens – President Praises “Occupy Wall Street” Protest As the “Occupy Wall Street” protest entered its fourth week it received a ringing endorsement from President Obama who contrasted the protesters’ “sincerity” and “selflessness” with the “hypocrisy” and “self-serving greed” exhibited by the so-called “Tea Party.” “The Wall Street protesters have put their [...]

- by John Semmens – Call to Postpone 2012 Elections Gaining Momentum Concerned that the upcoming November 2012 elections may be interfering with the appropriate governance of the United States, two eminent Democrats have called for postponing them. Governor Beverly Perdue (D-NC) complained that “fear of offending voters is stifling our will to govern. If [...]

by John Semmens -President too Nice to His Enemies, Congresswoman Says Representative Maxine Waters (D-Calif) took President Obama to task for “being too nice to his enemies.” “We are at war for the soul of this country,” Waters argued. “Yet, the President insists on treating those who oppose him as if they are just friends [...]

by John Semmens President Confident of Reelection Despite unanimous polling trends showing increasing dissatisfaction with his job performance, President Obama says he’s confident he’ll come out on top after the ballots are counted in November 2012. “In 2008 I was a virtual nobody,” Obama recalled. “Now I’m the President. Just being the President gives you [...]

- September 11, 2011 – by John Semmens – President’s Jobs Speech Wows Congress President Obama’s widely anticipated speech before a joint session of Congress on Thursday stunned and amazed his erstwhile political opponents. “Until I heard it from his own lips I never realized how mistaken the GOP plans to tear up all the [...]

by John Semmens – First Family’s Lavish Vacation Spending Justified Says Administration It is estimated that the Obama family has racked up $10 million worth of vacation expenses since Barack entered the White House. While critics have branded this as extravagant, especially in light of how poorly the economy is doing, the regime, itself, sees [...]

    by John Semmens – Obama Compares Self to Lincoln – President Obama pushed his Midwest “self pity” tour into new ground this past week with his claim that he has it harder than President Lincoln did. “Everyone thinks that Lincoln had it tough,” Obama said. “But let’s not forget that his opposition was [...]

by John Semmens – President Urges Voter to Rebuke Republicans for Thwarting His Will – On the heels of the nation’s first ever credit downgrade, an angry President Obama embarked upon a campaign tour aimed at focusing voters’ wrath at what he dubbed the GOP’s “economic terrorism.” “Opposition to my leadership imperils the very existence [...]

by John Semmens Senator Demands Media Take Harsher Stance toward Tea Party Arguing that Tea Party conservatives are “an impediment to the proper governance of this country,” Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) demanded the media stop “propping these nuts up.” “It’s one thing for Democrats and Republicans to have respectful disagreements over how much spending or [...]

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah,who was now living in America and said: “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over -populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.””Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.”He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: “You have [...]

- by John Semmens – Democrats Call for Executive Action to Resolve Debt Ceiling Crisis – As the prospects for a legislated agreement on raising the debt ceiling remain remote, demands for President Obama to take unilateral action are increasing. House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md) suggested that “the President could use his authority under [...]

I think with a possible debt default in the works it is important to think about ‘the little man’ who could possibly be affected by the chaos in Washington. From the creator (RC Baker): This is a pure satire of what has and is becoming of our beautiful country. The message here is that RC [...]

by John Semmens – Economy Is Better than Everyone Thinks – Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney boasted to a skeptical media that “the economy is a lot better than everyone thinks it is. The focus on high unemployment, bankruptcies, and foreclosures misses the big picture.” Carney declined to get down to specifics on what the [...]

by John Semmens Treasury Secretary Makes Case for Higher Taxes In testimony before a House of Representatives Committee, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner argued that higher taxes are needed “to forestall a potentially disastrous shrinkage of government.” Representative Renee Ellmers (R-NC) challenged Geithner’s assertion pointing out that “government spending in this country now consumes almost two-thirds [...]

by John Semmens -President Rejects Need for Congressional Approval of Libyan Military Operation- The Obama Administration rejected contentions that the attacks on Libya that he authorized beginning in March must conform to rules laid down by the 1973 War Powers Act. “The intent of the War Powers Act was to restrain then President Nixon from [...]

by John Semmens – Homeland Security Urges More Citizens to Spy on Neighbors Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano warned Americans not to take the slaying of Osama bin-Laden as a cue to ease up on our vigilance. “Al-Qaeda is not the only threat to our government,” Napolitano said. “Enemies are everywhere.” Because enemies are [...]

by John Semmens Government Edges Closer to Total Control of Internet with Anti-Piracy Censorship Bill With Senate passage of the Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act (PROTECT IP), the US government has moved a step closer to total control over the Internet. Under the Act, the government will [...]